Giro d’Italia 2013, Stage 8: Analysed

This year’s Giro d’Italia is lit brighter than a house decked out in terawatt lighting over Christmas and it shows no signs of fading as we move into the second week.

Last night’s Individual Time Trial wasn’t an individual trial in staying awake way past our bedtimes, as it may well have been, had Sir Wiggo gone into the stage two or three minutes up on the peloton.

No, no, no, my friends.

The cycling Gods are repaying us in spades for the boredom of last year’s TdF by providing us fans with a top ten general classification that changes faster than any of our current government’s policies to return to surplus.

The Maglia Rosa has shown she has a phobia to commitment longer than five days as she refuses be attached to any rider for an entire three week stage race.

The ModMan desperately wants her and coming into the stage probably fancied himself to take her. He wants to posses her and dance her through the Italian countryside.

Is it just me or is the ModMan beginning to morph into Sting’s character The Ace Face from 1979s Quadrophenia?

The bat like figure of the man who would be Giro King rode menacingly through the sunshine of the winding roads, stalking, hunting, overtaking his lesser beings on the way to second position behind countryman Alex Dowsett.

At this rate, it won’t be long before he begins to wear distinctive eye make up around one eye, a bowler hat and Sky replace their current playlist of pop music on their website with ‘Lovely Ludwig Van’.

Too harsh? Possibly.

Whilst Wiggins was a man on a mission, it did appear at some points, however, that a rider or two didn’t quite the memo about the day’s activities.

Juan Manual Garate of Blanco, obviously got lost on the way to the start house or perhaps suffered some form of wardrobe malfunction?

This does raise questions about how exactly you have a wardrobe malfunction in a skin suit? I mean they are the ultimate onesy aren’t they?

So, what else could have caused the Spaniard to just about miss his start time?

An emergency dash to the gents, or perhaps the distraction of a stunning blonde flouncing by?

Another rider who seemed to not quite understand that the day’s activity was to ride a bicycle not compete in the latest MotoGP race, was Italy’s Vicenzo Nibali.

The Italian took the first few corners like Casey Stoner at Phillip Island, minus the boguns and traffic jam on the way back to civilization.

It paid off though, with a fourth place and the Maglia Rose.

Not wearing the pink jersey, but a winner in the eyes of Australians and the over-35s is of course, Cadel Evans. He finished the day in second place on the general classification and continues his low key, stealth like attack on the Giro.

Where are all of the detractors now? Come on, you know who you are.

Alex Dowsett’s victory is one worthy of a celebration or two. The young Briton is competing in his first Giro and he won the day over the outright favourite Bradley Wiggins. Ok, maybe Wiggo would have won, minus  a puncture, but I view the world selectively.

Thankfully the man from Essex didn’t take a tumble Ligthart style. He’s a hemophiliac and a wound gashing blood could see the young man stagger over the finish line paler and more transparent than Marley’s ghost.

The race is wide open, not hoarded by one team.

There have been thrills and spills.

There has been the sun and the rain.

And the action is certainly hotting up as we move into the second week.



Published on The Roar, 12th May, 2013


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